<3

I’ve talked about my 2-yearlong breakup in past posts and have recently started discussing the move with JP. Like her thoughts and ideas on if she should hire movers or get a truck. Where she should relocate to. What items she will buy when she moves. I feel like she’s excited for this, whereas I’m completely devastated but I keep it all bottled up. I feel like a failure, and the fact that we’ve broken up 3xs in the past 2 years (all by JP’s doing), doesn’t leave much self-esteem in its wake. The best part is, the worst thing I’m afraid of is her seeing someone else. Just the thought causing huge sloppy tears to appear in the corners of my eyes.  I’m stressed thinking about her and also thinking about myself and being alone. I know that it should be gratifying and feel like freedom, but it doesn’t. It just feels like a punch to the stomach and a severe case of heartache.  I’ve gotten over a bad break up before, but this one just resonates with me and its probably because its been dragged out for 1.5 years. I just feel like I’m not good enough for JP. And that I won’t find someone else that compares to JP. Silly, right? 😦

I found the quotes below from The Frisky website about Jaime Beckman’s new release “30 Day Breakup Guide.” I think some of the ideas are simple enough, basically get up and get out so you’re not thinking about your ex all the time and you’re filling your life up with other things. But 2 quotes have resonated with me:

What do you think are the biggest mistakes people make during a breakup that stand in the way of moving on?

Trying to get the guy back is number one. There’s a reason that it didn’t work out, especially if he was the one who dumped you. If someone tells you they don’t want you, under no circumstances should you want to be with that person. He doesn’t deserve you. Now you’re free to find someone who does … and you will.

-Jaime Beckman

I don’t think any book can make you stop loving someone. But maybe a little time, a lot of advice and a keep-busy attitude can make it so love—love lost—no longer feels like a knockout punch to the gut.

-Maude Standish


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